How Ra.One should have been made!

After watching Ra.One last night, I was disappointed, not because I am a fan of SRK, but because I am a fan of Sci-Fi, Superhero, Special Effect movies, and wanted this one to be a record breaker, so that more such movies can be made in India! But this movie is nothing except copy of various Hollywood superhero movies. We have seen Terminator 2, which is the main copy for the story of Ra.One, where a villain comes from another dimension (from future in T2 and from game in Ra.One) to kill the boy, and hero also comes from the same dimension to save the kid. Then, we have seen Iron Man with heart, Tron with the costume, Spiderman with the train sequence, and Speed with the train sequence on road. There are more in Ra.One, and I am sure we all have seen these movies, and remember these sequences. So, while disappointed, I thought of writing my own review of this movie, so read on, and don’t worry about spoilers, as there is very little original in the movie, so even if you don’t read this, I can assure you, that while watching the movie, you will remember all these sequences and felt like seen this movie earlier.

The Original

Ok, I have spoken about a lot of copied stuff above, so what is original in this movie? There are few small original pieces, wasted in the movie. Like Ra.One the character, he is ultimate villain, and chances of hero beating him are 0.01%, which is cool. But the problem is, G.One has beaten him in the movie, whenever they fought, so what is with this 0.01% probability? Error in calculation maybe? 

Although the train sequence was copies, but destroying Mumbai CST was a well thought and well executed sequence, but again, wasted. If they have to destroy this building, they should have shown the final fight there, and destroyed it in style! Also, the entry of Lord Ganesh is very original, but funny too. 

The sequence with Desi Girl, Khalnayak and Lucifer seems original to me, not sure if that was copied from somewhere, but they should have avoided “Iskee Lee”, “Uskee Lee” and “Sabkee Lee” in this movie targeted for kids. But more of that in another section of this review. 

The Story

They should have come up with some original storyline! Its like watching remix of various Hollywood Sci-Fi movies, with the base story directly lifted from T2! So, nothing original here, its seen that liked that, thank you, don’t want a desi version! Disappointed…

The Characters

Ra.One

Very few scenes where he is Arjun Rampal, and the best dialogue “Tum Ravan ko har saal isliye jalate ho, kyoki tum Ravan ko maar nahi sakte!” was wasted! He told this to a bunch of kids, who did not even bother to listen to the full dialogue, and left before he can finish it off with “Jo mar jaata hai, use baar baar marne kee jarurat nahi hoti”.. or something like that. This could have been in front of G.One, and not completely out of nowhere, without any situation!

G.One

Was he there in the movie? All I could see was SRK, and that is why no big star should do a super hero. We should leave it to professionals, who can act the character, and not the star!

Chitti

Yes, he came, he rule, and before we know, he is gone! There should be more of Chitti!

Rest

Yes, rest all characters were ok in their role. Nothing  to mention about.

Comedy

Cheap comedy, was not able to laugh even once! All these comic situations were old, and already seen somewhere else, including Jackie Chan movies. So, nothing worth mentioning. 

Action

Action was good, but nothing original in it. So, you may like it, but feel cheated as you have seen such sequence somewhere else, with better effects!

Special Effects

So far, best we have seen in India, and hats off to SRK for showing that we also can do such thing. This is the only plus point of the movie. Special mention to the destruction of Mumbai CST station and the train sequence. 

The censor certificate / Parental Guidance

Ok, this is “U” certificate movie, so everyone can see this. But, I don’t think this should have been given “U” certificate, as it is a PG13 movie, or for India, it is “U/A” certificate. There are few dialogues and sequences in the movie, which you may not want your kids to watch. Specially, you don’t want you kids to start imitating SRK and doing Power Yoga in the house. Below are the list you need to know, before you decide to take your kids to this movie:

• SRK the father throws keys and it lands in between cleavage of some firang and then there is one minute issue about it with the women showing lot of cleavage.
• In some classroom, there is this “humorous” scene where the black, fat teacher is made fun of when her video of doing pole dancing is shown. She is revealing quite massive cleavage there.
• SRK places his hand on Kareena’s boob and some 1/2 min issue is made about it. Don’t touch me and stuff.
• Airport checking scene. Gay jokes. A male security guard makes SRK take his shirt off, and licks his lips seductively at the sight of SRK’s pierced nipples.
• Three times hitting on private parts. G.one literally is holding Ra.one’s crotch and Ra.one asks “ye tum kya kar rahe ho”.
• Condom Condom jokes, atleast I counted three times. Kareena says Condom Condom for Kunjam Kunjam, then SRK shows Condom ad to recharge Kareena’s “Moods”, and then SRK’s son jokingly says Condom Condom when he meant Kunjam Kunjam. 
• SRK spanking Kareena’s ass and says “Good Job Babe!”
• Criminal Song – enough vulgarity. Kareena’s hotness distracts one though.
• Our hero fights with three scantily clad Chinese babes named Iski Lee, Uski Lee & Sabki Lee.
• Kareena writing a book on “Gali” and keep on mentioning “Tere Baap Ka …”, “Tere Bhai Ka…” etc 
• G.One starts doing hump throughout the corridor, and Kareena explain this to her neighbour as Power Yoga, which he takes seductively and start doing it himself with calling his wife..”here I come”

Well, the above list may sound very bad, its not so bad in the movie, and kids may enjoy the movie without even noticing these. But as IMDB does not provide such information to parents, and our censor board has gone ahead with “U” certificate, I felt like putting this down for all the parents. You can decide on your own, based on the above information, to take your kids.  If you ask me, avoid the kids between 10 to 12, if you think they do not know about these things. Below 10 is fine, and above 12 is anyway fine ;-)

My Opinion

I, like others, had a lot of expectation from this movie. But it is a total disappointment. I would still suggest one time watch for the special effects in this movie. 

What I wanted to see

Ok, here are my two cents, if I would have got a chance to suggest SRK about the story. 

First of all, there was no need to kill the father. Why can’t SRK the father fights SRK the Ra.One, to save his child? Yeah, copy of Robot, but with a difference, here is how:

1. SRK do not share a good relation with his son, and wants his son to like him
2. His son like Villains, and wants a stronger villain
3. SRK goes on to build a game, where Ra.One the villain is more powerful that hero, and give his face to the villain, so that his son can like him
4. The company also works for a secret govt project, for a virtual soldiers, and accidentally a module of Artificial Intelligence is plugged into Ra.One code (this can be avoided, as it sound like a copy, but it is required to justify the game villain coming out of the game to take revenge)
5. Before the game testing can begin, SRK invites his son to play the game
6. The game has ten levels, where hero fights with Ra.One in each level, and Ra.One has just one power in first level, then one more power added to the second level, and by tenth level, he has 10 different powers. This should have justified the concept of Ravan as well. 
7. SRK’s son beats Ra.One till 8th level, and then leaves the game, but Ra.One is not satisfied, and with the AI module built in, the concept of finishing this to the end kicked into Ra.One’s command. 
8. The villain comes out of the game, to complete the game with Lucifier, SRK’s son, by killing him
9. The next three level’s are played at real world, with SRK the father playing as hero to SRK the villain. 
10. SRK son likes the cool Ra.One, but soon realise that he is after his life, when his father saves him, in the 9th level, but one of the game developer (a friendly uncle of SRK's son) died in the fight!
11. There will be emotional scenes, where his son now realise that villains are not good, and he should be supporting and helping the hero, in this case, his father, as hero do sacrifices, do all good work and if he needs to be someone, it should be a hero like his father, and not like villain like Ra.One
12. SRK the father gets help from his son, who knows the rules of virtual world, to fight back in the climax, the 10th level, where he is the good one, the hero, and he face the villain, with all his 10 different powers! 
13. He almost lost this battle, but they found the weak spot (like Ravan’s in Ramayana) of Ra.One to hit, and that saves the day. 

This could have been a hell of the movie, with super hero, kickass villain, emotional journey of father and son all combined in one package! But this is just wishes….  Only if SRK has additional footage which can be edited to make a fanedit movie like the above….